The first stop on our trip was an Air Asia flight to Kuala Lumpur from Stanstead. OK, so it’s not really a place – but is it better than Worthing? Let’s see.
1. Is the weather better than Brighton?
In many ways, yes. For most of the flight it was warm and cosy with no chance of rain but then, in a blatant attempt to make us buy an Air Asia branded blanket, they whopped the air conditioning up and then it was freezing. You’re always going to lose points for that.
Started well, but ended badly – 5 points
2. Proximity and quality of the seaside (a pier must be present for full points here)
We saw loads of sea, but it would take a radical turn of events if you were to get to dip your toe in there. Although we were right on it according to a map it was usually quite a long way straight down – parachute required!
As for the pier, we just got steps and a long walk across the runway (!) at Kuala Lumpur airport. It was fun, but you couldn’t jump off it like a birdman.
I’m going to have to cut Air Asia a bit of slack here but you can’t get full points for almost offering me the chance to throw myself into the sea from 35,000 feet – 5 points
3. Local delicacies and quality of food
This is where Air Asia really impressed me. First up I had Chicken Biriyani which was better than I’ve had in any restaurant, and much less greasy. Next I had Nasi Lemak which was a spicy breakfast dish made of rice and chicken and hot red stuff and anchovies and half a boiled egg. Written down that sounds pretty minging, but it was proper lush.
Somewhere in there I had a cup noodle as well. On a plane.
A pot noodle in the sky is worth two on the ground – 10 points
4. Friendliness and attractiveness of the locals
Loads of hot Malaysian stewardesses in red uniforms doing this…
Nuff said – 10 points
5. Availability and quality of real ale
To be honest, I wasn’t expecting much from Air Asia on the ale frontage, and I wasn’t shocked to find none available.
They did have a drink called 100Plus which encouraged me to “outdo myself”, but I figured it was probably a bit early in the trip for that.
No ale means major fail – 0 points
In conclusion, Air Asia is great for cheap flights to faraway lands, but I’m not moving there in place of the Mighty Worthing.
Air Asia total – 30 out of 50
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