First stop – The Mighty Worthing

The first stop on our hunt for a place better to live than Worthing has to be..erm…Worthing. We can’t judge places against TMW (The Mighty Worthing) until we’ve rated the place itself.

I’ve lived in Worthing (with my hot young wife) for 3 and half years and I love it, but it’s points that count – how does Worthing measure up against our strict criteria?

1. Is the weather better than Brighton?

It’s a well-documented fact that Worthing has better weather than Brighton. I work in Brighton and I always have to take an extra layer to put on between the station and the office, which I inevitably peel off on the way home when I get off the train at TMW.

Yes. Better than Brighton in many ways, not just the weather – 10 points

2. Proximity and quality of the seaside (a pier must be present for full points here)

Worthing has one of the cleanest beaches in the country, and unlike Brighton it’s not full of cockneys just off the train looking for weak lager and sunburn.

Worthing pier is a beautiful thing too. Check it out:

And the rules dictate that a pier must be present in order to score full marks in this category. Worthing pier is so lush, we had our wedding reception on it. It’s not just me – the National Piers Society says:
An understated art deco gem, chosen Pier of the Year in 2006. Houses the Pavilion theatre, Denton lounge restaurant, a small amusement arcade and a night club. The landing stage still welcomes the occasional paddlesteamer.
Some people might knock a couple of marks off for it being a pebbles beach, but for me there’s nothing worse than sand in me sandwiches.
Couldn’t be closer to the sea without being in it, and a lovely pier. Lose a point for the slightly scabby amusement arcade on the pier and another for lack of places to have beer on the seafront – 8 points

3. Local delicacies and quality of food

Being a seaside town in England, Worthing tends to concentrate on 99’s and fish & chips. In terms of local delicacies, we don’t really have any which is going to cost TMW some pointage.

You can get some decent munch though. I like the pubs, Mrs Wife prefers Food, Casa Ciro and Penang.

No local delicacy or speciality, but a decent choice of places to get some pretty good food – 6 points

4. Friendliness and attractiveness of the locals

Worthing has a bit of a reputation locally for chavs and old people but it’s not true. Well, it is a bit true. Let’s take each accusation in turn. Chavs – we have some, but so do you. You know you do. They’re everywhere. Fortunately Worthing recently got a Poundland, so as long as you avoid that and Argos you’re mostly safe.

The old people thing is more true – my brother-in-law says that if there’s a shop in the town centre selling mobility scooters then it’s an old person town. There is, but our old people on scooters are proper zippy. There’s even one guy who has converted his scooter so it’s like a scooter from Quadrophenia which makes me think while we do have old people, they’re cool ones.

I digress. We’re here to rate the friendliness and attractiveness of the locals. Worthing people are pretty nice and friendly. I was going to say they’re really friendly, but then I tried to think of an example and I couldn’t, so I think that means they’re just normal friendly. Attractiveness-wise, the hottest young lady in the world lives here which scores some big points.

Quite friendly, mostly attractive locals – 7 points

5. Availability and quality of real ale

This is where Worthing comes into it’s own. Worthing Pub Reviews shows you how many quality pubs there are, and it also tells you a bit about my favourites. The Hare and Hounds, The Charles Dickens, The Wheatsheaf and The George and Dragon will be sorely missed when we’re away, as will Harvey’s best and Timothy Taylor Landlord.

If we can get a pint of Harveys when we’re away, that place gets some bonus points. For now, Worthing is the real ale location to beat – 10 points
Worthing total – 41 out of 50.

Disagree with my ratings? Leave a comment and let me know. Where wins? I decide, but you can find out by coming back here, or sign-up for updates.


Filed under UK, Worthing versus the world

11 responses to “First stop – The Mighty Worthing

  1. Luke

    Oh Gavin… I think we live in a different Worthing to each other!

  2. Same Worthing, different criteria. It’s my mission to see if there’s anywhere better, so keep up.

  3. The Smogfather

    Gav… no, no ,no.
    Anybody who is anybody knows that all good beer originates in’t north, so you don’t have to trot the globe for a decent pint….

  4. Ken

    I think two shiny letters should bring a prompt end to this debate – M.K.!

    Although it may struggle to get a rating for number 2….does Willen Lake count?

    • I would need to visit The Big MK again with my WvW scorecard to be absolutely, positively, scientifically certain, but based on the current information available to me Worthing kicks Milton Keynes’ arse.

  5. Bernie

    I say Bill Bryson had better be looking over his shoulder. Also he gets zero points for not visiting Worthing.
    Will you be signing your books at Waterstones, assuming there is one in Worthing ?
    G&E enjoy enjoy enjoy.

  6. Ben & Sarah

    Gavin – you’re right! We’ve just spent an afternoon in the lovely Worthing, seeing some great work at Open Houses (and buying some of it) and visiting the Elvis museum. Worthing is great! I especially liked the lack of people.

    You might want to turn the wind down a couple of notches, though.

    • paul kelly

      I spent the 1st year of my studies living in Worthing….possibly the worst time of life to spend there..especially with the glittering lights on B’town on the horizon.

      However, I still have fond memories of the (nutty) Dome Cinema, the terrible club by the train station and spending Saturday afternoons watching old ladies being blown over along the high-street.

      Did you know, Worthing has the highest female to male ratio in England? Why? LOTS of old ladies….blokes give up sooner.

  7. Well I wouldn’t live anywhere else…. except perhaps the Caribbean 🙂
    I moved down from Creepy Crawley and have not regretted it for a moment.
    I shall one day join the ranks of one of those ‘old ladies’ (just hoping my bloke doesn’t give up too soon!)

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